I used to think changing directions meant I had failed. Like I wasted time. Like I should’ve known better. Like I was behind. But I wasn’t behind—I was just becoming conscious. Starting over is the language of shame. Rewriting is the language of evolution. When you know
I thought the hardest part of the breakup would be losing him. It wasn’t. It was losing the future I had built around him. The version of me that had it all together. The life that made sense on paper. The one that would finally make my parents proud.
I don’t know how to start this, so I’m just going to write... I’ve moved through life like a checklist. School. Work. Perform. Push. Achieve. Smile. Survive. People see someone smart, put-together, successful. I see someone who’s been sprinting uphill her whole life just so no